


Amnesia

by Aliyah_Faith



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF, Tomlinshaw - Fandom
Genre: Accident, Amnesia, Car Accident, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 16:27:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2198748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aliyah_Faith/pseuds/Aliyah_Faith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was actually kind of scary, Nick thought, to see the shell of the man he loved. To see the familiar blue eyes that once held warmth towards him, show only confusion and fear. He didn't know what to do as he followed the nurse and Louis through the hospital on their daily walks. He didn't know what to do when Louis would occasionally turn towards his space next to the bed and ask a question about himself or Nick, or their relationship. He didn't know what to do when the rest of the guys from the band visited and Louis' face lit up like he was a child in a candy shop, but he looked at Nick and got a reserved look and a quiet mouth. Nick didn't know what to do with amnesia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amnesia

It all started out like a usual day. But then again that's how all bad days start, normal - like the day before. Nick rolled out of bed before the sun had even thought about starting to get up. He had his tea and grabbed his phone as he got dressed. He slid his shoes on and went back to his room, bending to drop a kiss on the side of the soft warm face of the boy that occupied his bed and half of his heart. Louis just shifted on the bed and rolled to Nick's side, a small frown appearing on his lips. Nick sighed slowly and let a smile trace along his lips, knowing full well what would come next. It was what happened nearly every day. 

 

"Can't you call in?" Louis grumbled into the pillow. Nick smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

 

"Sorry, dove...but you know I cant" Nick murmured as he bent down and kissed the top of the sleepy man's head. Louis just sighed and pulled Nick's pillow closer, wadding it under his head and going back to sleep. Nick took that as his cue and left with a smile, locking the door to the loft behind him as he headed to work. His day progressed as normal. He texted a bit back and forth between his sister and Louis. Harry sent him one or two telling him that he was Louis and they were going to hang out or catch a movie. He chatted with people around him and then took his lunch. A half hour before he was set to leave was when the call came through. Harry was speaking fast, stumbling over his words in a higher than normal pitch. 13 minutes later Nick found himself slamming the door to his car and running into the Emergency Room. Harry met him at the door, eyes wide and body shaking, he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out except for sobs, able to get out that the ambulance had arrived only a few minutes ago and they took Louis back.

 

"I...I didn't even mean to...I don't know what happened...no. I know what happened I just...I..." He started sobbing again. "It was my fault. We were stupid..I..I read about this thing online...it's called the...the Chinese fire drill..its where you stop at a stop sign or a light..and the people in the vehicle all have to suddenly get out of the vehicle and run around it switching seats..a- and I told him about it and he said no...." He paused to wipe the tears falling down his face. "He said it..it was crazy..but we got to a stop sign. And I...I yelled "Chinese fire drill" and jumped out, running around the vehicle, and so he did the same thing..." He paused and just looked to his shaking hands. "I..I..I......I jumped into the drivers seat and buckled..He got in and.. well he didnt buckle. I started driving as someone slammed into us...I got away with a few scratches..." He motioned to his forehead where a bandaged gash was. Nick hadn't even noticed it before it was brought up. He got silent, eyes wide. He started shaking some more. "Louis...he..." He stayed quiet and started crying again. The wad in Nick's chest tightened up more at his name.

 

"He what?? Louis what? Harry look at me" Nick spoke, grabbing him by his shoulders and stood straight in front of him. 

 

"He..He went through the windshield..." Harry broke down in sobs and Nick felt like he couldnt breathe. All Harry had told him on the phone was that there was an accident. That's all he could make out. But now that he knew..He couldnt stop picturing the body of the man he loved flying through the windshield. He could only think the worst. People died from that. People went into coma's because of that. Nick didn't relax until he the doctor came out and he was let back into the room. Louis was asleep, a bandage wrapped around his head. He looked pretty much fine otherwise. Nick walked in a bit further and the doctor stepped in and Nick immediately turned and asked if he was going to be alright. 

 

"He suffered some major blunt force trauma to the head. The brain scans showed that there was activity. But we won't know for sure how everything is until he wakes up. That's the tricky thing about head injuries" He finished. Nick just nodded his head slowly, sitting in the spot by the bed. It only took an additional 45 minutes for Louis to wake up. His eyes fluttered and Nick was out the room in seconds yelling for the doctor. He stayed back while they examined him and explained. And then stepped closer as they starting getting him to talk, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

 

"What's your name?" The doctor started simple. Louis looked around and then down to the the blanket in his lap, fingering the edge of it. 

 

"Louis William Tomlinson" he murmured. The doctor nodded and asked his birthday. 

 

"December 24, 1991" Louis answered, connecting his eyes with Nick's and then looking away quickly. The questions continued through the basics. He didn't remember the accident or if he ate breakfast this morning, or dinner last night. He began frowning deeply and Nick stepped in around the doctor and spoke. 

 

"Do you remember me?" He asked. Louis looked at him for a few seconds and wrinkled eyebrows. He shook his head. 

 

"Should I?" He quizzed. Nick looked from him to the doctors, then back to Louis, who looked confused. Nick stepped out quickly, feeling his heart nearly stop. He felt the tears slip out of his eyes and it was suddenly hard to breathe. He slid down the wall outside of the door, fully well aware of the nurses and other people that could see him. He pulled his knees to him and cried. He had only been with Louis 6 months, only half a year, but his life had never been more complete. He woke up every morning next to a groggy but pretty face. He got to gag down food that wasn't the best, but the smile that came to the younger boys face was worth every bite. He never would have called himself the mushy cuddling type. But he brought home a card for their 6 month anniversary and fell asleep cuddling on the couch (naked, of course). He needed Louis, like he had never needed anyone before. And now he was gone. He didn't even know who Nick was. The doctor came out a few moments later and Nick stood, wiping his face. 

 

"Why doesn't he remember me?" He asked hating that his voice cracked and he sounded like a lost puppy dog. 

 

"It looks like retrograde amnesia. This type of amnesia isn't too common, but it isn't impossible for it to happen. It seems that his intermediate long-term memory is what he's having trouble accessing. This type of memory refers to memories that may last for days or even weeks, but eventually are lost forever unless they are moved to long-term memory. So any memories he's made in the past few months may be gone. Now I do-" Nick cut the doctor off. 

 

"We've been together for 6 months. Isn't that kind of stored in his long term memory?" He asked. The doctor nodded for a moment. 

 

"It is possible that some of the long term memory was affected too but it doesn't appear to be too much of it. The hippocampus is a strange thing. In most cases, amnesia is a temporary condition and is very brief, lasting from a few seconds to a few hours. However, the duration can be longer depending on the severity of the trauma, possibly lasting for a few weeks or even months." He finished. Nick just stayed silent for a few moments and the doctor continued. "I would suggest calling his friends, parents, siblings maybe seeing them could jog something. If he has a favorite blanket or shirt, bring it in. Anything could help, honestly. It's just a waiting game." He finished and Nick decided that it wasn't what he wanted to hear...

 

******

 

"Ok guys..just..don't be upset if he doesn't remember you. He remembered his mum and sisters but...well not me." Nick explained, looking at the four boys in front of him, who just nodded their heads back and slipped into the room by him. It didn't take a full 5 seconds before he heard Louis shout their names happily. He felt a frown come to his face, so Louis remembered them. He shook his head as he reminded himself that he had known the boys longer. But he had known Louis for nearly as long as he knew the guys. They just didn't start dating for a while after. In fact there was a strong almost hatred between them for the first little bit. But still, why did Louis remember them and not Nick? He'd be lying if he said his heart didn't hurt a little more at the thought that maybe a part of Louis doesn't want to remember him. But that was crazy. Louis loved him, right? 

 

Over the next 24 hours Nick never left the hospital. He didn't stay in the room the whole time, Louis didn't know him and he didn't want to freak him out. So he simply sat in the family room for 3 hour intervals or napped in the waiting room, pretending he left. When he was with Louis he showed him pictures of them together, told him some memories they shared, tried nearly everything to jog his memory with no prevail. And today they were releasing him. Harry stood by Nick as Louis signed the release papers. Nick walked the room making sure all of Louis' things were gathered.

 

"When we get back home I'm sure it'll jog your memory...I'm sure of it" Nick spoke as the doctor walked out and he set Louis' going home bag on the edge of the bed. Louis sat there, a pair of old joggers and a tshirt. Louis looked up at him rubbing his arm awkwardly. The bandage was off his head. A huge bruise and stitched up gas sat on the side of his forehead. 

 

"I..uhm..I was thinking I'd go to Harrys. Less awkward..ya know?" He spoke. Nick nodded his head quickly. Saying it was ok and he understood and it was fine as he quickly walked out. It was the farthest from fine. This was basically his last chance to get Louis to remember him. He went straight home. Entering the loft felt different. He nearly tripped on a pair of toms, discarded by the door. Typical Louis. He walked through the kitchen to find the dishes from yesterday's breakfast before heading down the hall, stopping in his bedroom door to stare at the bed. He dropped himself into the cold side normally occupied by his lover. But now it was empty. And it could stay that way for a few months. Or forever...

 

*****

 

Harry felt bad. Really, he did. In the span of one day, he went from completely envying Nick and Louis' relationship to feeling guilty and wishing he could do anything to fix it. He sat across from Louis in the living room of his house. Louis sat in a tshirt *that Harry recognized as Nick's but didn't say anything about it* and his joggers just watching the tv. Harry stayed silent for a bit. 

 

"I'm sorry..." He finally spoke. Louis looked up quickly, an eyebrow lifted, Harry quickly continued. "For the accident..it was my fault..and now you don't remember Nick" He finished sadly. Louis looked back to the tv for a few moments before speaking. 

 

"Nicholas and I, we take were a pretty big thing, eh?" He asked, twiddling at the bottom hem on the shirt. Harry nodded slowly as he thought back. He was the one who actually got the two of them together. He remembered the bickering and comments towards eachother. Then he remembered asking them both to meet him for dinner, they both showed up, then he excused himself to go to the toilets and never came back. Louis didn't come home that night. Or the night after. Harry felt accomplished. Nick and Louis fought. And sometimes it got borderline violent. But they never broke up. They were perfect. "Will you tell me things?" He asked, his question shocking Harry. 

 

"Hasn't Nick?" Harry quizzed back, Louis nodded his head slowly. 

 

"But it's not the same. If someone else tells me maybe it's more real. It's more...it's different than him who's voice was laced with desperation as he claimed we were in love." His voice tapered off into a soft whisper towards the end. Harry nodded his head and thought for a few moments, working his lower lip between his teeth. What could he say? What should he? After a few more moments he just sighed.

 

"I'm not sure what I can tell you, honestly. You guys fell and you fell quick. But it's not like you crashed and burned you just..floated together...all he does is talk about you. For awhile I was jealous because I felt like he was taking my place as your best friend too. But I got over that. You guys go out to eat at least 2 nights a week. It's your getaway. This last tour was the worst even though it was only a few months because you were so attached to your phone," he paused to smile, glancing at Louis who had his eyes closed as he imagined it all. "Actually about 2 weeks before our last show he surprised you. We were all in on it." Harry spoke of it as he thought back fondly. Nick had messaged Harry first, saying he missed Louis terribly and asking about him for the 8,000th time in the past week. Harry suggested Nick come out so they could see eachother, so this annoying messaging and moping could cease, and Nick took that thought and turned it into a surprise. After their show one night, they all headed back to the hotel. Harry was supposed to be rooming with Louis, but instead stayed with Zayn and Liam (they had an extra bed). But he still rode up in the elevator and walked to the room with Louis like everything is normal. Louis opened the door and stepped in, stopping so quick he almost tripped over his two feet. Nick stood there with a bottle of wine and and whole bouquet of roses. Harry immediately thought it was cheesy, but honestly Nick could have showed up with a rat and Louis would have been happy. He shot across the room and immediately wrapped his arms around Nick. Harry shut the door and walked away. Harry recited recited the story, looking at Louis now who was sitting with his eyes shut still, but a small smile ghosted his face. That was it for the Nick talk that night. The next day progressed as normally as it could. Harry suggested Nick back off a bit, so he didn't visit. Louis asked a few questions about him throughout the day but that was it.

 

****

 

"Are you sure I should go?" Harry asked, standing by the door tapping his fingers against his thigh. He had a date tonight, he had planned this before the accident, but he felt bad and didn't want to leave Louis alone. Louis nodded his head and crossed his arms. 

 

"It's fine. I swear. I'll be fine. Maybe I just need some alone time to gather myself. It'll be ok!! Go" He insisted, shoving Harry out the door and locking it behind him. He felt satisfied as he walked into the kitchen, grabbing a snack before heading in to watch some footie on the tv. A few hours later found him asleep on the couch at 9:30. A storm was rolling in as he snoozed away. It didn't take too long and he was awake, sitting straight up, listening to the thunder boom and crash as the lightening lit up the air outside. He hated storms. No, scratch that. He was absolutely terrified of storms. They were the worst. He tried his best to focus on the television as the storm raged just outside the windows, he turned the TV up all of the way and made sure all of the lights on. And he was nearly able to ignore it until the lights flickered and the power went out. And then the reality of the situation set in. He had no phone, it was damaged in the accident. Harry didn't have a home phone and even if he did it wouldn't work with no power. He took a few breaths to calm himself and looked around. He decided he was an adult and could handle a silly storm.

 

\---

 

Nick had never moved faster than when he heard the first roll of thunder. He grabbed his phone and texted Harry, making sure Louis was ok. He had gotten a bit better with storms in the past few months, but that was only because Nick had been working on it. He always made sure to check the weather, know when a storm was coming. He would prepare and hold Louis the whole time. Distract him with a movie or food, pinning him to a mattress, whatever worked. But he could only imagine that since the last six months were gone he had gone back to the way it was before, tears and anxiety. But Harry was with him, surely he would know how to handle it. He did before Nick came along. But after 15 minutes with no answer from Harry to his multiple texts, the storm worsened and he was getting worried. He called, it rang and rang and rang before finally coming to the voicemail. He groaned and just hung up. He stood in the middle of the kitchen for a few moments before he quickly started sliding shoes on his feet. Harry's place was a few blocks away. He grabbed the keys off the table and ran out, not even locking the door, he lived in a safe neighborhood. He got to the car without managing to become too wet and luckily the drive there was quick, but dangerous because of the mixture of his speed and the storm making it hard to see. He pulled into the driveway and noted quickly quickly that Harry's car was gone. Good, maybe they weren't even home. The house looked very dark anyways. He jogged up and stopped in front of the door, he tried the handle first but found it was locked. He groaned and knocked. He didn't get a response, but suddenly remembered Harry made him a copy of the key. He was inside the main area of the very dark house in a few seconds. It was quiet in there aside from the storm raging outside. He reached over and flicked the light switch, when nothing happened he took a deeper look around. The light on the stove that showed the time was dark, he tried to open the fridge and it was dark. There was no white noise from the air conditioning either. He sighed lowly. 

 

"Hello?" He called out, heading into the livingroom, it was empty but there was a cup of half full tea and some biscuits on the coffee table there along with a blanket half on the couch and half off. He furrowed his eyebrows together. That looked like what Louis normally sat with at their place. He wouldn't have left them there if he and Harry went somewhere. He was messy at times but he was normally pretty ok at picking his things up. He looked around and walked down the hall. "Harry? Louis?" He called out again. Nick made his way into Harry's room, glancing around and using his phone for light, he realized no one was in there. A loud crash of thunder hit and a whine came from the bathroom near him in the hall. He turned quickly, twisting the handle and opening the door. Louis sat in the floor by the tub, knees to chest and eyes wide, he seen Nick quickly through the light of the candle he lit on the sink combined with the light from Nick's phone and he held his arms out immediately, body shaking. Nick didn't know if Louis remembered him or if he was just scared and would take anyone, but he also wasn't sure he cared. He walked over and bent down immediately, sitting by him and pulling the younger boy into his lap. Louis sat facing him, legs around Nick's on the floor, his face in Nick's neck, he started sobbing. Nick rocked slowly and ran his hand through Louis' hair repeatedly, murmuring softly. 

 

"Love...you're alright..." He spoke down into Louis' ear softly until the younger boys cries turned to soft whispers. "I've got you. It's just weather." Louis got a bit quieter, but didn't budge from up against Nick. After a few moments of just the sound of the thunder outside and the occasional sniffle from Louis, whose voice broke the near silence.

 

"I'm sorry..I didn't mean to forget you..." He murmured sadly. Nick smiled so big it nearly split his face. 

"You remember?" He asked. Louis nodded his head. Nick just grinned and gripped him a little bit tighter. Louis just had to be terrified to remember him. Whatever, he'd take it. "Prove it to me?" He asked Louis, who just pulled back a bit, locking their eyes through the candle light.

 

"Hmm..Nicholas Peter Grimshaw. Born August 14, 1984. Absolutely can't stand being called Nicholas but I do it because it's a sexy name. Friends call you grimmers and it's annoying to me. You have a birthmark on your lower left hip that almost looks like a boat. You really have a thing for my thighs, -" 

 

"But who doesn't?" Nick interrupted, moving his hands to the back of Louis' thighs holding him closer. Louis just smiled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Nick's. He softly and slowly began to kiss him, sliding his hands up and resting them on the back of Nick's neck. Nick cupped his face softly before pulling back. "Oh my god..it's only been less than a week but I missed this.." He murmured softly before going back in for another kiss. Louis laughed and turned his head so Nick missed, he wrapped his arms around his lover and held on tight, swearing silently he'd never let go again.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Positive criticism is always welcome!


End file.
